The key to balance, for me, is to live fully in every moment, accepting life for what it is. For a very long time, I could not decipher between codependency and love. In a desperate attempt to counter these negative feelings, I sought the approval of others; when it was not provided, I felt like a failure. By focusing on what was wrong with them, I could ignore what was empty and unfulfilled in me.
We spent four years flip-flopping between wonderful loving moments and horrific physical fights that left us both numb and depressed. Codependency 0 Willingway works with families who are in a codependent relationship related to drug or alcohol addiction. I had completely turned inward, nurturing my turmoil like an old friend. Saying things that we do not mean only hurts us, because we then are living a lie. People rarely respect boundaries right away. The helper invests a large part of themselves and their identity in helping the receiver. I needed to know everything about his past. The first codependent relationship I was involved in began when I was nineteen. It may be a behavioral pattern that you are just realizing for the first time in a relationship or it may be something in between. I was a highly sensitive child and, subsequently, struggled with low self-worth for most of my life. I gave so much of myself to my partners, naively thinking that this was the road to happiness. Co-dependents view themselves as victims and are attracted to that same weakness in the love and friendship relationships. People who are codependent often look for things outside of themselves to feel better. He was ten years older than I was, and, unbeknownst to me at the time, a cocaine addict. What does codependency mean for addiction? We would spend our weekends drinking and gambling at a local pool hall. How do you know if you are in a codependent relationship? They often find themselves in relationships where their partner is emotionally unavailable, yet they stay in the hopes that they can change the person. In fact, this can be a vital part of the process for a receiver already in addiction recovery. Going out with friends brings us back to our center, reminding us of who we really are. I knew something had to change, so I gathered the courage and left him behind. Those who struggle with codependency often have trouble with boundaries. Often, I chose angry and avoidant men. I chose partners with alcohol and drug dependencies. For a very long time, I could not decipher between codependency and love. Others may develop compulsive behaviors like workaholism, gambling, or indiscriminate sexual activity. You need approval from others to gain your own self-worth.
Video about breaking codependency:
5 Steps to Recovery from Codependency
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